I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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