the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
