So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
