Your mouth is God's brothel.
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
