OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
