no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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