Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
