There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
did you just send me my own nude
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
