it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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