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If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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