i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
