Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
