This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
