That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
