before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
