it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
