i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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