dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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