Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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