k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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