So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
