I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
i now understand why vodka
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
