woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Welp...herpes.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
