So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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