We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
