i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
