You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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