All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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