I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
