I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
