I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
