I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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