I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
