She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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