I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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