Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
