TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
