I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
