Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I touched a dick in church today
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
