Christians are straight up FREAKS
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
