I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
