I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
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