I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You ruined the universe
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Randomize
