It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize