exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Randomize
