i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
no you cant smoke seaweed
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
