names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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