His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize