Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
