yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
