I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
