STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
