Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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