plz talk dirty to me
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
