I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Randomize
