yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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