Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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