No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
