I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
