have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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