I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
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