Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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