she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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