Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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