I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Randomize
