I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
