i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Randomize
