I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
