So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
