I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
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