Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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