Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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