I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize