oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
