You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Randomize
