I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
