Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
