Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
