I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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