Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
