Who wears a wallet chain?!
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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